Thursday, July 21, 2016

Crazy Week!!

I wish I could say this week has been smooth sailing...... It hasn't been at all!!! Sunday evening Shane and I went to walk at Memorial Park and I didn't even get a mile in and I started coughing uncontrollably. I just couldn't do anymore.... I am not sure what triggered it but it is 4H fair week and lots of animals are there but there is also an Algae bloom going on. I was so excited to change things up but it didn't do much good. On Monday I had a crazy day at work, my kids were not in a hurry to get anywhere and I had decided I would go to the Hog Show but I wanted to walk before the show. I had to wait on Maddy to do her thing and then I wasn't able to walk long and didn't even get a mile in. I have done better the last two nights 3 miles Tuesday and 4 miles Wednesday. Goal tonight is 6 miles. But with the humidity I am not making any promises.
My food intake has been crazy and I need to work on it hardcore. I have a food addiction and like any addictions it is so hard to overcome. It is a true strong hold and I am working so hard on it but at times I do have to really work hard at overcoming it and I have set backs a lot. Water has also been terrible to get in this week and of all weeks to not slack on this week is that week. But today I have already met my goal.
When you are doing a life change a lot changes in your life. I have been working on loving myself. This is so hard for me and I just wish I could break through this. Some know my story and my story is a tough one. I have seen a lot in my 34 years on this Earth. Especially my teen years. I was in a really bad relationship that still has strong holds on me at times. I have flash backs of how I was treated by this person. I had my life goals set and they didn't pan out. I was told how worthless and terrible I was everyday as well as other things. Life was tough and I believe this is what started the whole letting myself go... Now here I am 18 years later and I am finally picking up the pieces and loving myself.
Don't get me wrong I have had amazing moments since that time. I have been blessed with a great husband and kids. I just held onto this terrible mindset that I shouldn't. I am just now realizing this isn't where I want to be forever!!! I am trying to be more positive with everything around me. I am living to be happy. I will do things that make me happy. I got this!!
I just want to give a shout out to the ones that meet me at the park to walk with me. They rock and I am blessed to have them cheering me on. The ones that email me to encourage me I need you too!! The text messages to make sure I am doing what I need to do, you know me and know I can't slack!!! The Facebook group that I belong to, You guys encourage me with your journey!!! To the ones that encourage me to step outside the box try new things, I need you!!! To the ones that honk, wave, stop and chat as we are walking you keep me going!!!! To the ones that post on my Facebook status' I need you too!!! To the ones that have stopped me in public and said I see what you are doing!! I need you!!! I am blessed beyond measure!!!!
Goals for the rest of the week:
Water, Water, Water
Walking as much as possible later in the evening
Start Y membership
LOG ALL FOOD

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Reaching goals!

Sooo one of my goals this week was to run at least 3 times!! Well last night I did just that. Every mile I walked Windi and I would run a little path but we added to that path by 3 feet each time!!! It may not be much to some but its a lot to me!!! I am so proud of myself for this huge step in my fitness journey!!! So today I was worried about the weather not being so great tonight to walk so I decided 3:00pm would be a great time to walk instead. So I walked in 90 degree weather and humidity from I have no clue where but when we got to the little path the first time around we ran. I thought I was gonna die after we finished but I am still alive to write about it. It has cooled off a lot but I still don't want to risk anymore weather threats. So tonight I will jump on the bike in the family room and get the rest of my exercise in. Goal is an hour a day!!! I also am going to work through some yoga as well. Its halfway through the week and I am feeling very confident in how everything is going.
Last night I had a horrible time sleeping because the dogs were up and down barking all night! So around 3:00am I check my Facebook because what else do I have to do at 3am?!? My cousin sent me a message saying I was inspiring her to do better!! This made me feel 100% better about why I am doing this! I want people around me see the change not only in my physical appearance but my mental health and how I feel about who I am as a person. Since probably 14 or 15 I had always been negative with who I was.  I made some not so good choices and still deal with peoples negativity because of it. But those opinions don't matter to me any longer and they are no longer controlling who I am. Its hard to find self worth and love your self when you feel you don't matter to those around you!!! But I am working on that and I just want to be happy and healthy! I have a lot of work to do but I will get there maybe not tomorrow but I will be there soon!!!!

Monday, July 11, 2016

Monday!!!

Last night I went to bed with my goals for the week set!! I woke up this morning determined to make it a great day no matter what was thrown my way!! That is what my day has been!! 
My goals this week is to exercise at least an hour every day, water goal met every day, log everything into Spark people, and lastly I am going to run at least 3 times this week. I have no set length on how far I am going to run. I mean its been 17 years ago, 100 lbs more, and 3 kids later that I actually really ran. So if I run 10 feet I am going to run that 10 feet with pride!!! So if you drive tomorrow by Baker Park and see me running don't laugh!!! I am so grateful that I have people that walk with me every night!! I have so many people cheering me on either in person, in prayer, on facebook, or through texts or calls!!! I am beyond blessed!!! My food intake was ok today but it will get where it needs to be!!! I did get my exercise goal in and even walked 5 miles tonight, water goal was met, and everything logged into Sparkpeople!!! Now I am ready for bed and ready for a great day tomorrow!!!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

New Day, New Blog

The last few months I have been working really hard on getting back into a routine on becoming more healthy. I have been a member of a gym, exercise classes and so in the past but money has been a huge thorn in staying consistent in it. So I had to adapt and do things that didn't cost a lot of money!! So I have been walking a lot and I was given an awesome exercise bike that has helped a lot. Shane is working and has a great job in which we are very blessed and grateful for!!! Things have been falling into place in our life here of late!!!
So here I am starting over this journey once again for what feels like the hundredth time. I started walking pretty consistent almost a month ago. I walk between 2 and 5 miles 6 nights a week.  This week hasn't been very consistent due to the holiday and Elle spending the day with us yesterday. I am still working on the nutrition part but its coming! I will say that I gained two pounds over the weekend and I will own it! I have been dealing with some emotional issues and I will admit I let a huge amount of fear enter my heart and mind this weekend. The reason is not even worthy the time to type out on this blog. Because if I give it mention that means I am letting it control me. I have spent almost 6 days letting this issue over take me and I had so much fear in my heart last night sleep was extremely hard for me and I woke up overcome with it today and all day at work I had this shadow of fear something was going to happen to me. I came home from work and started to pray and get raw with God over this fear I was feeling. I feel like a huge amount of it has been lifted but a couple times this evening it has tried to sneak back in. I was given a verse this afternoon and I am taking it every where I go! 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. I am hiding this verse in my heart and I will be reminded of it constantly!! I feel the reason of the weight gain had to do with fear and I fell back into using food as a comfort during this time. I also didn't get much exercise in. I should not have an excuse to not exercising I have this awesome bike in my family room that I can use day or night! I just have to get on it and go!!!
OK so my goal weight is 148lbs!! I am at 232lbs I want to lose 40lbs by October. My why for that goal is I don't want to be the fat mom at senior night..... Also I am doing a 5K in October as well. The 5k is for Organ donation and this is near and dear to our family. My cousin was an organ donor and we are doing this in his honor!! So this is my official 5K and the beginning to hopefully a future of many charity runs!! The Jingle Bell Run is in December and I will do that as well as it is a fundraiser for the Arthritis Foundation and if you know me you know why this is near and dear to my heart!!! I feel I can get to where i need to be physically and I am going to use it to help others to see that they can do it as well!!! My goal is to blog more consistently and share my journey so others can see that they can get to where they want to be with determination!!!